My ENFP-ness, or Why I Need a Boss
Posted in Personality Type, work and tagged with ENFP, work on 05/03/2010 04:11 pm by NicoleMy Mom is a Myers-Briggs person. By which I mean, she’s certified to give and analyze the Type Indicator test thingy. I don’t know what the official title for such a person is. But she is one. She’s really good at it, too. I’ve learned a lot about type and how to use it in relationships and professional life. It’s really helpful in figuring out how to communicate more effectively, to understand (and therefore avoid) conflict, and why there are some people in the world you just don’t click with.
MBTI helped me make sense of not getting that interview to be a tour guide I had been hoping for. All of the guides I worked with on the Texas trip had a couple of personality traits in common with one another. Ones that I don’t share. So when they said it wasn’t a “right fit,” that’s what they were talking about. Most corporations, companies, and organizations have a certain culture. Some want diversity of types so they have different perspectives. Others want homogeneous types, I guess so that they can expect the same thing of everyone and avoid conflict. Or something. Whatever their reason is, that particular company was looking for homogeneity, and I would’ve rocked their boat.
So I had my month of being bummed out about the fact that I would not be leading cycling tours of Italy this summer. And then I got back on the bike. Or horse. Or…whatever. I kicked through it and am back to figuring out what I’m doing next. Which has meant a lot of reflection and self-evaluation, because I’ve had a lot of periods in my life where I took a job just because, well, I needed a job. The funny thing is, I’ve tended to take jobs that don’t fit with my personality type. At all.
According to the MBTI, I’m an Extrovert, iNtuitive, Feeler, Perceiver. ENFP. Yep. Basically it means I love being around people and am good at communicating with them, I’m creative, I like variety and problem-solving, and I’m very in tune with others around me and concerned with their feelings. I like thinking about the future, about possibilities, and looking at the big-picture. Because of this, I LOVE starting new projects. But I need goals and deadlines, because without them I will just keep jumping from project to project, and may never finish any of them completely. And because I’m big-picture, I need to make a checklist for details, or else I will straight up forget a step, even if it’s a process I go through every day.
One of the keys to personality type is that it can help you figure out your “weaknesses.” But then you have to come up with ways to work with them. Which is why I hate deadlines, but I need them. And why I make lists and write things down, so I don’t forget anything.
A lot of the office jobs I have done in the past loved that I was good with people, great on the phone and jumping in on planning events and running meetings. But they got super annoyed with the errors I would make in, say, a financial report. (Numbers and I are NOT friends.) As I look at job postings right now, I keep seeing the phrase “attention to detail.” I have an ambivalent* relationship with it. I’m GREAT with details when I am, say, planning a party. I will make sure that the food and the music and every last decoration and all have a coordinated theme and it will be seamless. But when I’m doing rote office stuff? Yeah, not so much.
Why do I keep applying for office jobs? Because it’s what’s on my resume. It’s what I know. But I want to do something more than office management.
So I’ve been freelancing. I love that it’s interesting, full of variety, flexible, and I can do it from anywhere. But it can be really hard to motivate, and really easy to procrastinate. Or go start another project. So I need a boss to set deadlines and help me set goals and give me a reason to finish things. Also? I HATE being alone all day. Yes, I’ve gone and worked in coffee shops. Sure, there are people around me there. But I’m not interacting with any of them. So I need co-workers and clients, too. Ones that I go see in person and not just on email and gChat. Oh, and I need an office. Someplace to go. Because if I’m home all day, there’s a guitar, and a workout room, and food I can cook and things I can clean…
I think it’s going to really just come down to finding a balance for me. Either doing some freelancing and working somewhere part-time, or finding a normal day job that still has lots of variety and a little flexibility.
Do you have these struggles? Do you know someone who would like to hire someone like me? Do you need a massage? (’cuz I do that too.)
______
*The word “ambivalent” is often mistaken to mean the same thing as “indifferent.” Ambivalence actually describes more of a love-hate relationship, where you’re always passionate about it, but sometimes in a positive way and sometimes in a negative way. English lesson over.
May 3rd, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Okay, so I am bigoted on this subject, but you’ve also reminded me why my personal growth background has led me away from such testing. I think that despite their popularity tests like Meyer Briggs also–unintentionally, perhaps–impose limitations that we may never work around. I also think it’s another manifestation of our right brained culture to want to classify and sort everything and everyone out. And that is so 20th Century!
PS I also suspect that while you’ve diagnosed the problem, you have limited your thinking about possible solutions. Personally, I’d vote for a project that’s so exciting that you want nobody around to interrupt you doing it.
May 3rd, 2010 at 4:26 pm
It’s so funny because just today I was making a list of traits I love in a job. Then I took the Myers-Brigg Personality Test (ENFJ) and… yup. Everything on my list. This helps tremendously!
May 3rd, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I’m an ENFP, too! According to my friend, Jane, also another MBTI-certified person, we’re rare. 3% of the population, I think. And we can spot each other. And I feel you on the lonely freelancing–did that for a bit. MUCH happier teaching undergrads.
Here’s what I want to know, though: are all ENFPs also ADD? (I know, I know, we say “ADHD” now thanks to the changes to the DSM-IV, but whatever.) I am. As are the other ENFPs I know here in Alabama. I mean, is that part of it? Seems like the steps to conquering it are the same as the steps for dealing with ADD sans meds: lots of lists, recognize a need for deadlines . . .
Loved the post!
May 3rd, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Barbara – Thanks for your comments! I wrote this with you in the back of my head shaking a finger…
And I think you’re right about how we can use evaluations to self-impose things. I was thinking about that this morning, actually. I think it can be helpful, but like most things ought to be used in moderation, or as just one perspective of many.
May 3rd, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Robin – I don’t consider being an ENFP the same as being ADD. I know when I am working on something I’m really into, I can easily spend hours focused on it. (Like Barbara said.) Thanks for your comment!
May 3rd, 2010 at 5:06 pm
ESFJ, as I think I recall discussing yesterday. I love you Big Idea people, and I’ve grown quite comfortable with the knowledge that I’m an executor and a mobilizer – you tell me your Big Idea, I’ll get all excited about it and help find the people who can make it happen. But I won’t be the one with the Idea herself, I’ll be the team you pull together to make it happen
May 3rd, 2010 at 8:30 pm
Your procrastination is providing great reading materials
I wonder if your procrastination is tied to your MBTI or your upbringing; after all, who wouldn’t rather play guitar than work on something? You would probably rather write this post than play music you don’t like, so it may just be the type of activity thats slowing you down.
That said, I think you’re on to something about taking a part time job; social, mundane work can be so refreshing after tackling something with your mind for a week.
May 4th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Oooo, now I want to know what I am. I think it’s amazing that you’re freelancing- I could NEVER do that, I’d never get a thing done!
May 13th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
1. So excited to hang out with you in Vegas!
2. I am an ENFJ and yeah, that’s basically me.
3. I am a former massage therapist
Miss it! We should totally trade in Vegas…I know I could use a massage but am wayyy to cheap to shell out for one 