Only The Curious

We all know that goalsetting is important for success. It gives us something to strive for, and helps us have a direction. Goals play into avoiding overcommitment in three ways:

1) Having goals helps us choose our activities wisely. In the previous post, I talked about how I used to do a lot of things because I thought I “should.” The reality is that there are hundreds of things we could do because they’ll help us to be more fit, they’ll make us smarter, they’d be good opportunities, etc. The only way to sift through everything and know which ones will be the most beneficial is to know what we’re trying to accomplish in the first place.

This means that not only do we need to have goals, we need to have specific goals. For example, if I have a goal of “being more fit” that only directs me toward fitness-related activities. It doesn’t help me sort through which ones will help the most. But if my goal is “to be stronger” then I’ll know to focus on strength training, not the cardio. If my goal is more specific still and I say “I want to have stronger arms” then I’ll know to only look for classes/programs that focus on arms.

Fitness, I know, may not be the best example, because a well-rounded fitness program is the way to go and all that. So say your goal is “to build my network.” There are tons of meetups, professional groups, etc. Be more specific. What kind of a network are you trying to build, and why? Are you trying to get more clients, or is your goal to meet a tech person who can help you with your website? The more specific you are with your goals, the more specific you can be in only making commitments to things that support what you are trying to do. And this is how you avoid spending lots of time running around to events that turn out not to be pertinent, boring, or a waste of your time.

If a commitment doesn’t serve one of your goals, it’s not worth spending your time on right now. And it’s okay for one of your goals to be some version “to have fun” or “to do something that inspires my creativity” or “to meet like-minded women I can become friends with.” Not all of our commitments have to be oriented toward our work-life or ambitions. But they do all need to be serving a specific purpose in order for us to make the best, most wonderful use of our time.

2) Once we have made a commitment, knowing our goal for the activity will help us to stay on track, maintain productivity, and feel accomplished in having made the commitment. Being an ENFP/scanner it’s still easy to get distracted. As much as I believe that when we only make commitments that we want to, we’ll always want to be there, it’s just not true. There will always be other things that come up that sound fun or interesting or helpful that happen at the same time as something we’re already doing. Knowing your goal for a specific commitment will help you stay committed to it, until you’ve gained what you want to out of it. It will also streamline your activity, so that you’re getting what you actually want out of a commitment.

For example, if you go to that networking meeting with the goal of finding a web guy/gal to help you out, you might meet tons of other fascinating people and never meet that web person. But if you keep your goal in mind, you can meet those other people, but also keep asking if they know the kind of person you’re seeking. If you find that person, at the end of the day you’ll go home feeling good about having gone to that meeting and accomplishing what you set out to.

So to review, strategy #1: only do it if you really want to. Strategy #2: have a goal, both for the big picture and for each specific commitment. Stay tuned for strategy #3: be willing to re-evaluate, and know when to quit.

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