Only The Curious

My Mom is a Myers-Briggs person. By which I mean, she’s certified to give and analyze the Type Indicator test thingy. I don’t know what the official title for such a person is. But she is one. She’s really good at it, too. I’ve learned a lot about type and how to use it in relationships and professional life. It’s really helpful in figuring out how to communicate more effectively, to understand (and therefore avoid) conflict, and why there are some people in the world you just don’t click with.

MBTI helped me make sense of not getting that interview to be a tour guide I had been hoping for. All of the guides I worked with on the Texas trip had a couple of personality traits in common with one another. Ones that I don’t share. So when they said it wasn’t a “right fit,” that’s what they were talking about. Most corporations, companies, and organizations have a certain culture. Some want diversity of types so they have different perspectives. Others want homogeneous types, I guess so that they can expect the same thing of everyone and avoid conflict. Or something. Whatever their reason is, that particular company was looking for homogeneity, and I would’ve rocked their boat.

So I had my month of being bummed out about the fact that I would not be leading cycling tours of Italy this summer. And then I got back on the bike. Or horse. Or…whatever. I kicked through it and am back to figuring out what I’m doing next. Which has meant a lot of reflection and self-evaluation, because I’ve had a lot of periods in my life where I took a job just because, well, I needed a job. The funny thing is, I’ve tended to take jobs that don’t fit with my personality type. At all.

According to the MBTI, I’m an Extrovert, iNtuitive, Feeler, Perceiver. ENFP. Yep. Basically it means I love being around people and am good at communicating with them, I’m creative, I like variety and problem-solving, and I’m very in tune with others around me and concerned with their feelings. I like thinking about the future, about possibilities, and looking at the big-picture. Because of this, I LOVE starting new projects. But I need goals and deadlines, because without them I will just keep jumping from project to project, and may never finish any of them completely. And because I’m big-picture, I need to make a checklist for details, or else I will straight up forget a step, even if it’s a process I go through every day.

One of the keys to personality type is that it can help you figure out your “weaknesses.” But then you have to come up with ways to work with them. Which is why I hate deadlines, but I need them. And why I make lists and write things down, so I don’t forget anything.

A lot of the office jobs I have done in the past loved that I was good with people, great on the phone and jumping in on planning events and running meetings. But they got super annoyed with the errors I would make in, say, a financial report. (Numbers and I are NOT friends.) As I look at job postings right now, I keep seeing the phrase “attention to detail.” I have an ambivalent* relationship with it. I’m GREAT with details when I am, say, planning a party. I will make sure that the food and the music and every last decoration and all have a coordinated theme and it will be seamless. But when I’m doing rote office stuff? Yeah, not so much.

Why do I keep applying for office jobs? Because it’s what’s on my resume. It’s what I know. But I want to do something more than office management.

So I’ve been freelancing. I love that it’s interesting, full of variety, flexible, and I can do it from anywhere. But it can be really hard to motivate, and really easy to procrastinate. Or go start another project. So I need a boss to set deadlines and help me set goals and give me a reason to finish things. Also? I HATE being alone all day. Yes, I’ve gone and worked in coffee shops. Sure, there are people around me there. But I’m not interacting with any of them. So I need co-workers and clients, too. Ones that I go see in person and not just on email and gChat. Oh, and I need an office. Someplace to go. Because if I’m home all day, there’s a guitar, and a workout room, and food I can cook and things I can clean…

I think it’s going to really just come down to finding a balance for me. Either doing some freelancing and working somewhere part-time, or finding a normal day job that still has lots of variety and a little flexibility.

Do you have these struggles? Do you know someone who would like to hire someone like me? Do you need a massage? (’cuz I do that too.)

______

*The word “ambivalent” is often mistaken to mean the same thing as “indifferent.” Ambivalence actually describes more of a love-hate relationship, where you’re always passionate about it, but sometimes in a positive way and sometimes in a negative way. English lesson over.

Tweet This Post

My brother and I were enrolled in a martial arts program as kids. It did a lot of great things for us, but I think the most important part of it for me was learning how to set goals. Because we were always working toward earning a black belt with many levels in-between, we were constantly thinking in terms of both long- and short-term goals. Not to mention the books we had to read and essays we had to write prior to our black belt test.

Goals are something I didn’t realize the value of until fairly recently. I was talking with a friend who had never really thought about setting goals; nobody had ever encouraged him to do anything more than just whatever made him happy. While I’m not discrediting this (I often find myself admiring the Zen-ness of the way he directs his life) I have seen him struggle to make decisions about his life.

Whenever I have a difficult decision to make, (which is often, because as an ENFP, I see just about every option available to me in every situation) I find that the best way to make the decision is to work backwards. But this only works if you have an endpoint to work from. When you know where you’re trying to go, figuring out the best way to get there is easy. It’s when you don’t know the destination that choosing a route becomes impossible.

Goals keep us on track. It can be easy to get distracted, and while it’s always good to remain open and try new things, if I have a goal in mind, it’s easy to see which option moves in the direction of my goal, which ones are neutral, and which ones run in direct opposition.

I was inspired to write this post thanks to my friend Rebecca Thorman (author of Modite), who put out a challenge to fellow bloggers recently to participate in a monthly goal meet-up. The idea is that each month we post our personal and career goals on our blogs, to help one another with setting and achieving said goals.

Last month I achieved one of my longest-standing goals, which was to move out to Colorado. Because of all the changes this inevitably brings, I feel like I’m cheating a little bit in setting some of my goals for September, but here they are:

1. Get a job in Colorado
2. Get an apartment near said job
3. Start soliciting freelance work again
4. Get back into exercising at least 3x/week
5. Start playing my guitar again (it’s been over a month!)

Tweet This Post