Only The Curious

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go rock climbing for the first time ever. Not wall climbing, legit lets-hike-into-a-canyon-and-climb-a-rock-face rock climbing.

My dear friend Kyle was in town, and brought along a posse of four of the greatest friends a person could have. I am so happy to have gotten to know all of them, and consider it complete serendipity that we were all able to meet and become friends. Also, they’re really awesome rock climbers.

So they planned the trip and brought the gear and on a hot Sunday morning we found ourselves trekking up Clear Creek Canyon. The more experienced folks went first, and then it was my turn.

EEK.

I’m afraid of heights. And snakes, which live on hot rock faces in the foothills. (And geese, but those don’t have anything to do with rock climbing.) Also I’ve never thought of myself as being particularly strong. So, you know, I was REALLY optimistic about my chances of getting more than a foot off the ground. Like, that I might get two feet up.

So I geared up, and grabbed on to the wall. It was hot, and rough, and somehow, despite the obvious fact that ITS A ROCK it was harder than I was expecting.

I pushed up from my first set of holds. I was amazed. I didn’t think I had it in me to get anywhere. Then Kris helped me find good places to put my feet, and told me just to stand up. Luckily, if there’s one place I DO believe I have strength, it’s in my legs. I stood up and found myself about ten feet in the air. “Holy crap,” I thought “I’m DOING it.”

The next 45 minutes were slow and painful. There was a lot of me standing in one place, unable to fathom how I could possibly move higher. “There’s nothing there” I thought again and again, as I looked at the tiny dimples in the rock I was supposed to be using to push myself up.

Now, yes, there were some very solid holds in places. And there was a great crack to climb up through. But there were several times I just wanted to give up.

“I’m coming down!” I shouted to Kris.

“No. Keep trying!” he responded. James, Karen, Karl, and Kyle cheered me on and pointed out holds they’d found on their tries.

I got dizzy. It was hot and I was dehydrated.

I probably told Kris I was coming down another 3-4 times. Every time the group encouraged me to make at just one more try. They kept me going. And slowly, eventually, I made it. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT but I made it. 75′ up. Because my friends believed in me, even when I didn’t.

After that, I felt like I could do anything. There are a lot of things that are hard to do. But for the next few weeks every time I thought “oh, this is hard…” my next thought was “but the rock wall was harder, and I finished that.”

In many ways, pulling myself up the face of that wall was a very spiritual experience. But it also made me realize the value of a support system – not just having a rope to catch you if you fall, and not just having people teaching you how to do it, but having people who believe in you and won’t let you quit. People who know you can do it, even when you’re not sure you can, and who will tell you so. People who won’t let you come down even when you really want to just give up.

Thanks, guys. You were fantastic and supportive and awesome, especially given that I’d only met you 36 hours earlier.

Now how to go about finding a supportive cheering squad for all the other things in life…

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I finally got the videos and pictures from my move and first week in town up. The videos are in two parts; the first is from the actual drive out and the second is from the sightseeing Leah and I did the first weekend I was here. Enjoy!

Moving out to Colorado:

Sightseeing in Colorado:

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I’ve officially been in Colorado for a week. It’s beautiful, and I’ve enjoyed driving around, trying to get a feel for where everything is and what all is here. Yet somehow I thought it would feel more radically different than it does. Really, it just feels like my life,  with fewer commitments and better scenery. As excited as I am to have finally moved, the momentum seems to have slowed. I’m finally here! Now what?

One of my mother’s favorite adages is “wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” The external things changing doesn’t make the internal things change; really, it works the other way around. Problems, habits, ways of thinking and doing things don’t just shift overnight. These are things we have to do deliberately, from the inside out. And usually, no matter where we are or who we’re around, we’ll end up making a lot of the same choices time and time again.

Still, part of the point of moving was to instigate change. To shed the parts of me or my lifestyle that weren’t serving me anymore, and to expand into trying/being/doing new things. So I’m trying to be conscientious about every commitment I make, thinking “is this still how I want to do things? Is there a reason I want to do it this way instead of trying another way? How could it be done another way? What would it feel like if it were?”

I do want things to be exciting and new and different, and yet, I really liked my life in Madison, so a lot of the choices I make may be pretty much the same.  Of course, it’s also rather early in this whole process, and because I’ve been focusing on finding work and trying not to spend money, I haven’t really gotten out and experienced a lot of my new surroundings yet, either. Even the ones I have gotten out to are the ones I know and have seen before, and all the people I’ve been seeing are the ones I already know. In fact, today will be the first day I go out and meet some new folks.

I’m sure this will be like so many things – finding a balance of old and new, exciting and different alongside that which is comforting and reminds me of home. I look forward to exploring it and continuing to share the journey.

Speaking of which, pictures and video from my first week will be up soon. They’re all edited, I just need to get them posted!

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