Only The Curious

So… I got busy and behind on my Reverb10 posts. So I’m just going to pick up from today’s prompt, and I’ll use the ones I missed in the future.

Today’s prompt: “Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?”

To be honest, I made a lot of decisions this year that seemed unwise at the start. There are probably people in my life who would argue that they remained unwise decisions, but I regret few of them. It sounds cliche, but even the ones that cost me in one way or another taught me a lot, and influenced where I am today.

I would say the wisest decision I made was to trust and believe in myself.

I made this decision over and over again. It was the foundation underlying the more apparent big decisions I made throughout the year. In the past I have found myself to be indecisive; I would spend a lot of time asking other people what they thought I should do. But this year I just went with what I thought was right for myself, even if it defied logic or reason. Apparently those are tools others use for decision-making.

Ultimately this played out the most during the past 5 months. After I returned from the bike tour, I didn’t have a job. And I decided not to go out and get one. This, my family would likely argue, was an unwise decision. They’re right, from a financial perspective. But I just knew I didn’t want to give up on myself as a freelancer again. I didn’t want to go apply for jobs I didn’t want.

There were many times I looked at my budget, shed a tear or two, and started prowling the jobs section on Craigslist. I put in a handful of haphazard job applications. There were more than a few positions that I was actually kind of interested in. But I was usually genuinely relieved when no one called for interviews.

In the meantime I was writing, and blogging and going to networking meetings. I made connections and got new cards printed and started revamping my website. Eventually I stopped applying for jobs. I just kept feeling I was right on the edge – the tipping point – of being able to freelance sustainably.

I’m finally starting to make it. I love my days; there’s almost nothing I’m doing anymore that I don’t enjoy. Even my work. I have flexible time, variety, and I’m not stressed out. I’m happy. I don’t regret the big choices I made, even the ones that didn’t pan out the way I wanted.

There’s some ongoing believing in myself to be done, but that decision is getting easier every time I make it.

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